We interrupt our usual series of lighthearted ‘slice of life’ dispatches to bring you a breaking story!
In SHOCKING news, we have an excusive update on the apprehension of the wanted and dangerous Son of Wonky Trolley.
The unbalanced and dangerous drip stand (picture below redacted for legal reasons) has acquired NOTORIETY in the local area, due to the sheer unpredictability of its movements, and random moments of HOSTILITY displayed when rolled across the ward floor to the bathroom.
It has no known origins and is missing an inventory label, leading to the wide SPECULATION that it has a wonky supermarket trolley in its paternal ancestry.
In a SCANDALOUS incident ocurring last night, area woman Sheena Fletcher was VICIOUSLY ensnared in her own clothing by the DEVIOUS piece of hospital equipment and tensions were wound even tighter when the anti-social LOUT instigated a brief altercation with another resident’s ankle.
We can now reveal that, at approximately 10:30pm this evening, an as-yet-unnamed nurse attempted to move the INFAMOUS drip stand to another part of the ward so she could perform BEDTIME rounds. At which point, our anonymous source reveals, the NOTORIOUS piece of machinery started to maliciously lean DANGEROUSLY to the left, nearly taking out a nearby blood pressure monitoring machine!
The HEROIC nurse was able to stabilise the device before it caused any serious injury, and immediately launched an INVESTIGATION into the origins of the malevolently malfunctioning machinery.
This brought to light a SHOCKING revelation, when it was quickly discovered that the suspect is recorded on the equipment inventory for the nearby CRITICAL CARE unit, and NOT the ward where it has caused CHAOS among the local population.
Its escape thwarted, it was returned to the much more secure unit and tethered safely to the wall, where it has yet to cause further HARM, and the residents of Ward 4B can once again sleep soundly, assuming their meds have kicked in and that weird howling noise quietens down.